Donna's Daily Diary - January 12, 2010

My first appointment is a man, late 40’s, ABS, tall, successful, good looking and a previous client. He was surprised I still had his file. He took the profile test and, 15 years later, his scores were very much the same. I look forward to working with him again and I think he is in a better place now to meet the right lady. He is a strong believer and his long term goal is marriage. He said “Someone who puts God first in her life is most important.” Because I already had his file, I chosen a match for him before he came in for the interview. I was prepared to match him with someone else if, during the interview he shared any information to make me feel the lady I had chosen might not be a good match. Instead, almost every time he talked about the lady he hopes to meet, it reinforced that she was a good match. I shared her information with him and he agreed. I called her when he left the office and she is interested in meeting him. I think the right match for this man will respond very positively the fact that he wants “Someone who puts God first” and, she did. It will interesting to hear their feedback.

My second appointment is a lady, mid 50’s, divorced, educated, a teacher and her long term goal is marriage. I asked her where she heard about my service and she said “Everywhere. The ads on the walls, the radio, Gazette, magazines, and my friend met a great man through Perfectly Matched. She has a very positive feeling that Perfectly Matched will work for her. I said “Of course there are more women in this age range than men, and the men in this age range very often prefer to meet younger women.” She said “I know you can’t make my perfect match walk through your door. It will either happen or it won’t. If I meet some nice men and have some fun, that would be great.” I encourage my clients to approach these first meetings with no expectation other than; “This is a nice person who might end up as a friend. Wherever it goes, it starts with the friendship…Friendship.. no intimacy for the first three months. Why? How long does it take most people in a new relationship to get relaxed enough to be themselves? Three months. When do you start to identify the things that do or don’t work in a new relationship? Three months. How many relationships have you had that ended at three months? Once you are physically involved, you are emotionally involved and, it changes everything. Three months is not a long time to wait and it is generally much easier to walk away if you have not been physically involved.

I had a conversation with a client who has decided not to see a lady a matched him with anymore because she was intimate with him after just a few dates. He reasoned if she was intimate with him that quickly she was probably intimate with other men that quickly and she would not be the type of lady he would want to have a serious relationship with. I said “What if she’s thinking “If he’s intimate with me that quickly, he is probably intimate with other women that quickly and I don’t see him as the type of man I would want to have a serious relationship with?” I said “Isn’t this the pot calling the kettle black?” He said something I knew I was going to hear before it even came out of his mouth, “I am a man, after all.” Pleassssse…

To be continued tomorrow……………………..