Donna's Daily Diary - January 16, 2010

My first appointment today is a very nice man, late 50’s, separated six weeks from a six year relationship and not emotionally available. I am usually pretty good at determining if someone is emotionally available in the initial phone call but he was not exactly truthful about his relationship status. He told me he had been separated for six months, not six weeks. As it turns out “separated” means he moved into the basement and they never see each other. I asked him my “let me help you put this in perspective” question…”If I were to match you with a lady who is in the same position with a man as you are with this lady, would that be comfortable for you?” He said “You think I need more time.” I said “Yes, and you need to find another place to live.”

My second appointment is a “be back”, a lady I interviewed last Friday. She said she wanted to “think about it” and get back to me. I had not heard from her so I called her this Friday and she said “I can’t believe it, I was just about to give you a call and tell you I am ready to do this.” We had a nice chat about dating and how men in her age range, mid 50’s, always prefer to date younger women. I told her not always that was another way I would screen for her. Just as I look for someone to meet her preferences, I also look for her to meet their preferences. I encourage everyone to date up to at least their own age. If you find each other attractive and can keep up with each other, age is the least important issue. My experience has been that more than ten years is stretching it and five years either way of your own age range is most compatible for most people. There are always exceptions to the rule but why limit yourself with a limited age range? If a have a good match for someone and the only thing “off” is the age range, I will still call and share the information. I suggest they take an hour to meet and then decide. More often than not it works out, but if it doesn’t work out, I don’t count it as a match, and it is still a good opportunity for feedback which is always helpful. The feedback is how I get to know my clients.

To be continued Tuesday…………..