Donna's Daily Diary - January 22, 2010

I only scheduled one appointment today so I can match, match, match. Everyone loves to get matched on Fridays!

My appointment is a man, late 40’s, divorced, grown children, educated, has his own practice and, his long term goal is marriage. He is recently divorced but I do believe he is emotionally available. He was physically separated for two years before his divorce was final. He has done some therapy and self reflection and, accepts responsibility for his share of why the marriage did not work. Nobody “cheated” on the other, they just grew apart. He speaks very respectfully about his ex wife and wishes her the best and he said she feels the same way about him. I asked him if he had any regrets about the marriage ending and he said “We got married young, had kids right away, we both had busy careers and the next thing you know we were two strangers living together with no passion or excitement for each other.” When their last child started college his wife told him she wanted to try a separation. He was surprised but he agreed. They tried counseling and getting a fresh start but they both agreed they wanted to stay separated and get a divorce. He said “My only regret is that we did not make each other a priority and continue to nurture what was once a great marriage.” He said he would never do that again. Of course, it will be easier now that his career is established and his kids are in college. He said something I often hear from people out of long term marriages, “I loved being married and I want my next marriage to be my last.” He has a great sense of humor and is at the point now where meeting new ladies, dating and having fun sound like a great idea. He has heard and seen my ads for years and he was calling me “coach” before the interview was over.

I received feedback from a couple who met for the first time last night. It was the third match for him and the fourth match for her and they really connected. This is one of the most fun parts of my job, when two people meet and are excited about each other and I get to share the good news. They both had a strong feeling the other was interested but they followed my rules and ended the meeting with “Nice to meet you, let’s get back to Donna.” I had already spoken with her when I called him and he let out a sigh of relief I could hear over the phone. He said “I liked her before I met her because on the initial phone call to set up the meeting she was so considerate. She wanted to meet in a place that would be convenient for both of us. We are amazingly alike in so many ways. I loved her personality and I told her she was gorgeous.” He said “Maybe that was a bit much for someone she only knew for an hour.” I said “Even if a woman was not that excited about you, I think you can get away with telling her she is gorgeous.” When I shared that feedback with her she said “It kind of embarrassed me because I have never thought of myself as gorgeous.” I said “Well, he thinks you are and, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” She thinks he is very attractive as well. I don’t usually stick my neck out and predict how a match will go until they make it through three months but every once in awhile, I have this gut feeling “this one will go the distance” and, I am usually right. I will keep you updated on this couple and we’ll see.

To be continued tomorrow……………………