Donna's Daily Diary - January 28, 2010

Feedback from a lady who met a man I matched her with for the first time, “We met at a coffee shop, he was already seated and had his drink. He did not offer to get me a drink so I got my own drink and I paid for it. It was really off putting to me that he did not wait for me to order and that he let me get and pay for my own drink.” The meeting was over for her before it even started. However, he left a message that he really liked her. He is totally unaware of what a bad first impression he has made. I left her a message that he was interested and she was very surprised. She seems open to discussing it so it might still work out but it was not what she expected from a traditional man. Dating 101..wait for the lady before you order and it is always appreciated when you offer to pay. Traditional ladies expect you to pay and we are talking about a cup of coffee, not lunch or dinner.

My first appointment is a man, early 40’s, and although he has always been single, his last relationship lasted five years and ended a few months ago. They were engaged and decided to live together for a few months before they were to be married. He said he knew within the first month that it wasn’t going to work. She was very neat and tidy in her environment. She threw out some of his old clothes without asking him. She wanted to move the dog’s bowl which had been in the same place forever. He had visions of sleeping with her in his arms and enjoying more intimacy when she moved in. She was sleeping in the other bedroom most the time because her bed was more comfortable and she could sleep better alone. He was trying to think of a way to tell her the engagement was off when he came home and found a note on the kitchen table. Something like “we both know this isn’t working.” He said he felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He still wants to be married and he still wants to have kids but he will never marry a woman until he lives with her first. He said “You think you know someone when you have dated for five years but you don’t really get to know them until you live with them.” I’ve certainly heard that story before. He said “I’m active but not a jock and I am just as happy to go shopping with a lady as watch a football game.” That’s NOT something I have heard before.

My second appointment is a man, mid 60’s, widowed, and he is looking for companionship. He said “I don’t want or need to be married again and I don’t want to live with someone. I want to stay in my house and have her stay in her house. I want to travel, enjoy the arts and theater, fine wine and good food and wonderful conversation.” I said “In this age range I am sure I have some ladies who will be fine with the idea of maintaining separate residences and enjoying your companionship.” He said “What do you mean “in this age range?” I had not yet asked him his age preference for a lady and I should know better than to assume a man his age would date in his own age range but when he said he wanted to date ladies 40 to 50 I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t. He really does not want to date anyone older than 55. He plans to live into his 90’s and he doesn’t want to end up with an old lady. I said “And if you live into your 90’s won’t you be an old man?” He said “I guess I will leave the age up to you but I am still sexually active and I want a lady who wants to enjoy a very active sex life.” I said “I’ve got it, I understand want you want. You want to have your cake and eat it too.” I was being sarcastic but he responded with all sincerity “Exactly”. There is someone for everyone!

To be continued tomorrow………….