Donna's Daily Diary - February 8, 2010

I did not have any appointments today because it is my day off but I am in the office and just had a very interesting conversation with a client. She met a man on her own and was interested in how his scores would compare to hers if he took my Profile test. Any time my clients meet someone they want to test I send them the test. When they have the other persons answers they call me and I score it over the phone and compare the scores. It can be very helpful information, like today. They are incompatible in four out of six areas. She is a “5” in temperament and he is “8.5”. In the other five areas of compatibility the closer to your own score, the better. In temperament opposites can balance each other out. Two people low in temperament will butt heads and fight. Two people too easy going will avoid confrontation to the point of avoiding communication. However, a “5” with an “8.5” is too much of a stretch. She said “He’s driving me crazy. He procrastinates, can’t make decisions, puts things off.” He seems really nice but I am tired of making all the decisions about where we go and what we do.” He is “4” in sociability and she is “7.5”. She loves being out and about and he would just as soon stay home. She is “3” in conformity and he is “6”. She is a nonconformist and he is traditional. She is “8” in affection and he is “7”, obviously compatible in that area. She is “3” in religion and he is “7”. Religion and conformity usually go hand-in-hand. He goes to church, she doesn’t. She is a “5” in finance and he is “4”, also compatible in that area. She asked my opinion and I said “My experience has been if you are incompatible in more than two of these areas it probably won’t work.” Then I asked her about their shared interests and activities…”not many”…similar long term goals…”he sees himself married, I’m not so sure”…the issues like smoking..neither of them smoke..drinking..she enjoys a cocktail occasionally, he doesn’t drink…kids..she has two, he has none..pets, he doesn’t like her dogs..education..she thinks he is a good match intellectually..and income…she makes much more money than him. When all was said and done she said “But Donna, he’s so good looking and such a nice guy.” I said “Then marry him and get used to making all the decisions, staying home, going to church, not drinking, getting rid of your dogs and paying most the bills.” She has been dating this man for, you guessed it, three months. She has already identified most of the differences reflected by their scores but was hoping for better results. She said “So what do I do now?” I said “Talk to him about these differences and see how he responds.” I asked her what her family and friends think of their relationship. She said “Almost everyone thinks he is not the one for me. My sister said he’s too quiet and conservative for me. My best friend thinks he’s too wimpy for me. My Mother thinks I need someone who makes more money.” I said “Can almost everyone be wrong?” Then I hear this loud “Aaaaaaaaaa” and she said “I don’t want to start over!” I said “Would you rather marry the wrong man because he’s so good looking and nice?” I said “You don’t have to make a decision today. Have this discussion with him, give it some more time and pay attention to these differences.” It’s only a test, I could be wrong…………

To be continued tomorrow………………………..