Donna's Daily Diary - February 16, 2010

I just had a conversation with a client and he was sharing an idea for his first date with a lady he met last week. It sounded like a great idea but it was pretty complicated for a first date. I said “My experience has been that keeping simple the first time or two you get together is a better idea.” He agreed. He said “She has a pretty busy schedule, I wonder if she will have time for a relationship and, if it works out, I don’t know if we could blend our homes.” Trying to look too far down the road too soon is one of the biggest mistakes people make when they first meet someone. As long as you are having fun, enjoying someone’s company and look forward to seeing them again, that is all that matters in the beginning. Very often one of the biggest indicators someone is interested in you is how much time they find to spend with you. If they are interested, they will find the time.

My first appointment today is a man, early 50’s, divorced, retired military officer, and his long term goal is marriage. He works as a consultant for a government contractor. His last serious relationship ended last October and he is ready to “try again”. He has been reading Donna’s Daily Diary and was inspired to give me a call. He likes that I do all the work and was impressed with the profiles of the ladies I shared with him. He said “You mention in many of your diaries that “height” is the issue for women and I guess I am probably border-line at 5’8. Are these ladies you spoke to me about going to be OK with my height?” I said, “That is another way I screen for you. All of the ladies I spoke with you about are open to your height and just as I look for them to meet your preferences, I also look for you to meet their preferences.” I added “Looking like Tom Cruise (because I think he does) will be a plus.” He joined one of the national franchised dating services in Denver and was very disappointed with the matches. He said “They consistently made matches with ladies who were overweight, not active and uneducated that I was not attracted to.” I promised him I would not do that to him. He said “Well, either Nicole Kidman or Katie Holmes (Tom Cruises ex and current wife) would be just fine and it doesn’t bother me at all if a lady is a couple of inches taller than me.” I told him I was a little surprised that a retired military officer would be reading Donna’s Daily Diary and that he knew who Tom Cruise was married to. He said “When my daughter stays with me she often leaves her copy of “People” magazine and I find it surprisingly entertaining.” Who would have thunk it?

My second appointment is a lady, mid 40’s, divorced and her long term goal is marriage. She is originally from a Scandinavian country and has a delightful accent. She definitely looks Scandinavian, blonde hair, fair skinned, thin and very attractive. She said “I don’t have any trouble meeting men. I am just not meeting the right men.” Her last serious relationship lasted almost a year and ended because he cheated on her. He told her it was too much pressure for him that she was so beautiful. He thought people were always looking at them as a couple and wondering what she was doing with him. The sad thing is she was totally attracted to him but he did not think he was good looking enough for her. She said, “I wonder how many relationships end because the man thinks you are too beautiful for him?” I said “I never heard it before. Do you think he was being honest?” She said “I think he was, you should see the lady he is with now.” She said “I certainly don’t want someone to be with me just because he thinks I am attractive but I never thought it would work against me.” Dating is sometimes not easy, even when you are beautiful.

To be continued tomorrow…………………………..