Donna's Daily Diary - February 17, 2010

My first appointment will not be a new client, at least not today. She is not emotionally available, although I was unable to convince her. I know she is not a good candidate for Perfectly Matched. She thought since she was willing to pay for my service that I “have” to offer her membership. She also thinks I am discriminating against her because I told her “men don’t pay me money to match them with someone who is already in an intimate relationship with another man AND plans to maintain that relationship until she finds someone else.” I am not naïve or judgmental and I have listened to thousands of stories with a very open mind. However, I am absolutely sure I do not have one client who would like to meet a lady who has a “friend with benefits” that has been her life for 20 years and basically fills in, so to speak, sexually whenever she does not have another man in her life. I said “Do you think having this man in your life keeps you from being emotionally available?” She said “If he wasn’t married I would be with him in a heartbeat but, he is and that’s not going to change so he helps me out when I need it.” How nice. In my humble opinion she is, at the very least, extremely emotionally connected to this married man. In fact, she said “The only good thing about ending a relationship is that I know he will there for me until someone else captures my attention.” How nice. She said “I didn’t have to tell you all this and now you are holding it against me. I bet half the people who come to you are having sex with someone else, they just don’t tell you.” I disagreed. She said “OK, I will quit having sex with him.” I said “When you have quit having sex with him for three months, give me a call.” She said “You’re serious?” I said “as a heart attack.” Her relationship history has been a disaster….what a surprise.

My second appointment is now a new client and I matched her before she left my office. I went from one extreme to the other with these two ladies. This lady is early 40’s, divorced, educated, down to earth, genuine, very sweet and definitely emotionally available. She ended a three year relationship almost a year ago and has done some counseling, self refection and, has spent time enjoying her own company. She attributes much of her peace of mind and calmness to doing yoga three or four times a week. She feels healthy, centered and ready to invite a new man into her life. When she walked through my door I immediately thought of a man I knew would be attracted to her. Once I had her scores from the profile test and the interview progressed he appears to be an excellent match. I shared his information and she agreed he sounded great. She had to go put more money in her meter and when she came back I told her I had spoken with him and he would like to meet her. She said “You’re kidding me.” When she left my office I called him and gave him her number. Ten minutes later she called to say they are meeting tonight at 6pm. Now THAT felt good.

My third appointment is a client coming in to reconnect and show me her “new, improved” face. Cosmetic surgery is so common. I work with ladies as young as their 30’s who take advantage of it. This lady is early 50’s and she had a neck and chin lift. I thought she didn’t need it but I have to admit she looks ten years younger. She said “Does that mean you can match me with a man ten years younger?” A new cougar has been born……

To be continued tomorrow……………………………………..