Donna's Daily Diary - December 8, 2009

I just had a discussion with a client about the word “fine”. She has been dating this man for over a year and they had their first major disagreement. Without going into the details, I asked her how it ended and she said, he said “Fine”. I said “Was it “fine” like it really was fine or was it “fine” like it really wasn’t fine. She said “It was “fine” like he was saying “fine” because he thinks that is what I want to hear.” I said “So then it really wasn’t fine?” She said “It’s fine for now but I would rather he confront me if he disagrees with me.” I said “He agreed with you but you think he’s just pacifying you and you would rather he disagreed?” She said “My ex-husband was passive-aggressive and everybody thought he was the nicest guy in the world but he wasn’t.” I said “Why don’t you give him the benefit of the doubt that he does agree with you and not make him guilty by association because of your ex-husband?” She said “Fine”. This couple is a great match and they are crazy about each other. I reminded her how compatible they are and I read her my comments from my notes on her first meeting with him which were very positive and enthusiastic. On a scale of “0” to “10” I asked her how he appealed to her and she said “10”. She said she still feels that way today. Well then “fine.”

My first appointment today is a “be back”. A lady I interviewed in May but she was not emotionally available at the time. She wanted to move on, she knew the man she was dating for two years “off and on” was not a good match for her. She thought if she joined a dating service and started dating other men it would be easier to move on. I asked her when was the last time she spoke to him she said “This morning.” When was the last time you saw him? “Two days ago.” When was the last time you were intimate? “Last weekend.” I suggested she call me when the relationship ended and she had not seen him or, communicated with him for three months. I also shared with her if she really wanted to end it, that was all she had to do…. no communication for three months. You don’t see him, you don’t talk to him, you don’t text him, fax him or, anything him for three months and for most people, it’s over. She did it. It worked. She’s back and she is emotionally available. I shared information with her on four men I thought would be good matches for her, including a man I spoke to her about in May and she would like him to be her first match. This lady is an easy person to match. She is attractive, smart, funny, successful and very open on her preferences. Based on her relationship history I think she has been “under dating.”

Things will start to slow down at Perfectly Matched now until the holidays are over and then January is always my busiest month in business. My last day in the office will be the 18th. If you are interested in checking out Perfectly Matched now is a great time. You can start on your New Year’s resolution to meet someone special in 2010 three weeks early and I can be very generous this time of year.

To be continued tomorrow………………………..