Dear Donna April 23rd, 2018

Dear Donna,

I have been dating a lady for almost a year and I feel like she is constantly calling me to task for something I have done that displeases her. I have made some of the adjustments she asked for, like calling more often, taking the initiative to make plans for things to do, but when I asked her about cooking a meal for me she says “cooking is not my thing”.

Frankly, as much as I like her, I am getting a little tired of her knocking the wind out of my sails over one thing after another. Is there a nice way to tell her to knock it off? Tony

Dear Tony,

Have you told her you feel like she continues to knock the wind out of your sails? I think it is more important to communicate how you are feeling than trying to be nice about it.

Tell her you don’t like it, and you are going to let her know the next time she does it so you can talk about it when it happens.

Maybe you are being too nice and you need to stand up for yourself and be direct with her, like she is being with you.

Dear Donna,

My brother continues to date attractive ladies who need to be rescued financially. He is not the best looking guy and it seems worth it to him to pay for everything they want just to have them in his life.

I am tired of these ladies taking advantage of him and breaking his heart. How can I help him see the light? Tiffany

Dear Tiffany,

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Men are very visual and your brother is not the only man with unrealistic physical expectations willing to rescue someone financially to have a pretty lady in his life. A client shared a quote with me recently that you could share with your brother that might make him think about changing his focus.

“If you save a damsel in distress, you will end up with a distressed damsel.”