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Dear Donna: July 11, 2018

Dear Donna,

I went on a couple of coffee dates with a man I met recently and this past weekend he asked he to join him for dinner.
When our dinner arrived he reached out and grabbed my hand, bowed his head, closed his eyes and said a short prayer. I was still looking at him when he said “Amen” and I think he could tell I was surprised.
He said “I always say a prayer before my meals.” I felt like saying “Well, I don’t.” Instead, I just smiled and the rest of the date was delightful. I think I want to continue to see him and I am not sure how to tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable to pray before a meal. Amanda

Dear Amanda,

Tell him just that, it makes you feel uncomfortable to pray before a meal. You are probably on two different pages when it comes to your belief systems. It might have been more comfortable for you if he let you know before he took your hand and said a prayer that he always prays before a meal. Chances are, he will also be more traditional than you because religion and conformity usually go hand-in-hand.
If the two of you are interested you can go to my website, www.perfectlymatcheddating.com and take the profile test and I will call you with your “scores”. Unless of course you telling him you are uncomfortable praying before a meal is a deal breaker for him. My guess is that it will be, but it is better to know sooner rather than later.

Dear Donna,

I have been dating a lady for close to three months. I like her, but she has been pushing me to be exclusive. While I am not interested in dating anyone else, I am not ready to be exclusive. Since learning this, her level of enthusiasm has diminished and her texts have become less romantic.
She said she feels like she has to step back until we are in the same place and she does not want to become more invested emotionally if I am on the fence. I was having a great time with her, but now I feel like I need to be exclusive or it won’t be the same. Your thoughts? Bill

Dear Bill,

This sounds like emotional blackmail. Trying to persuade someone to be exclusive by changing the flow of the relationship is manipulative and controlling. Tell her you were enjoying the relationship and hoping to see where it might go, but her behavior has changed the flow makes you feel uncomfortable.
Assure her you are not interested in dating anyone else and let her know you need more time to decide if you want to be exclusive.

It is a reasonable request and she should respect it.

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